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A Kintsukuroi Life

finding a life that is "better for having been broken"

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• There’s a fire in my lungs and rhythm in my heart. A spark in my eye I never felt start. There’s a releasing of shackles and untying of rope. And I’m starting to believe you call this warmth hope. • • • • • • #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity #poems #prosepoem #prosepoetry #poetryofinstagram #poetsofinstagram #prose #thoughts #writing #expression #emotionalexpression #processing #process #reality #midnightthoughts #emotions #warmth #hope #2amthoughts #witchy #witchcraft #witchyvibes #witcheswhowrite

• Oh sweetheart, if only you could see the stars twinkle in your eyes as you look at the sky; the smile dancing on your lips as you think; the embrace of your laugh as it captures a room. If only you could see you as I do; how much I love you. • • • • #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #love #poemsofinstagram #prose #prosepoem #prosepoetry #midnightthoughts #pondering #2amthoughts #insomnia #selfie #redlipstick #emotional #moonlight #moon #witchyvibes #witchcraft #witchy #smiles #lovingyou #thoughts #feelings

Not poetry, for once. Instead, some thoughts and questions. • I do not let myself grieve. Along with anger, grief is an emotion I do not handle well. It’s guttural— an aching amalgamation of so many emotions. Emotions I would much rather suppress. • But there come times when I must process these unwanted emotional intruders. And they often arise with the advent of more questions. • The most potent one now: what do I need... for what am I searching? • Much like the moon, I go through phases. And I must pass through the waning before I can again reach full. And so now, as we are approaching the new moon, it is the time to let go and begin again—for this moon cycle. • And yet, I still struggle to comprehend my own desires and needs. And I search for this unknown quality in others in hopes it will fulfill myself. • “My blood turns black and flesh turns blue...” • • • • • • • • • #feelings #writing #prose #emotions #questions #moon #moonphases #moonlight #grief #grieving #emotions #emotionalintelligence #witchyvibes #witchythings #witchy #asabovesobelow #witch #witchcraft #thoughts

• Hours go by and the bees still buzz in flowers outside my window. Days go by and the feelings for you still flit about my hollow heart. Months go by and the pain still aches through my bones. Years go by and the question still stands in my mind, immortal. How much time would have stopped if our hearts had been able to collide? • • • • • • • • • #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity #poems #witchyvibes #witchythings #witchy #time #feelings #thoughts #love #lost #heart #mind #body #soul #midnightthoughts #2amthoughts #asabovesobelow #days #minutes #hours #months #years #bees #flowers #bones #pain #questions

I’ve often pondered how different life could have been... How fragile this conception of reality truly is. How small we are, in the amalgamation of time. And yet our worries, our struggles, our every moment seems so monumental. The versions of ourselves we show to the world. The number of “approvals” we get on a social media post. (Because they never really are likes... rather acknowledgement of confirmation to standards we’ve never had a say in anyway). Who are we to claim this immensity? Who are we to balk at the concept of consequence? Who are we to pretend we are gods? • • • • • • • • #witchythings #darkness #witchyvibes #asabovesobelow #earlymorningmusings #feelings #thoughts #pondering #bikini #beach #greenwitch #eclecticwitch #beachdays #stereotypes #depression #appearances #socialmedia

When the world grows dark, out hearts seek light, for a kindred soul within the night. Sometimes veils of black do not budge, and weary feet begin to trudge. But if in the above you remember only this, let it be that you are loved. • • • • • #witchythings #earlymorningmusings #poetsofinstagram #writtenword #loneliness #poem #poet #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetryofinstagram #prosepoem #darkness #love #night #witchyvibes #asabovesobelow

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Lemme tell you about one of my fav places with one of my fav people 🖤🔮🌙🌹

A dose of authenticity, from yours truly, to make your timeline a bit less fake. But first, release your shoulders, unclench your muscles, and breathe. • We so often hold our pain inside. The emotions we wish to suppress, and the vulnerabilities we shield. We are told being vulnerable means being weak, but this could not be further from the truth. • Vulnerability is human. It’s living and feeling and taking the energies as they come. It lets us see each other as we truly are, and not as the masks we wear over our societally structured shame—whatever that may be. • So here are some of the vulnerabilities in my life, right now: -I’m searching for happiness in others when I know deep down I can only find it in myself -I escape to the beach because the water calms the chaos inside me. -I am struggling with a grief I pushed down for too long. -I fear being abandoned more than anything else. -Often, I don’t think I’m worthy of love. • If you made it this far, thank you for being present with me. For hearing me. For allowing me to be authentic. I wish the same for you. • • • • • • • • • • • • #authenticity #vulnerability #brenebrown #vulnerabilityisstrength #mentalhealth #awareness #witchyvibes #witch #witchy #witchesofinstagram #polaroid #polaroidphoto

☀️ Avoid pier pressure, wear sunscreen. ☀️ • • • 📷 @dreamingofpetals • • • • • • • • • • • • • #beach #beachdays #everybodyisabikinibody #sun #sunshine #ineverwearpink #witch #witchy #witchyvibes

Pistanthrophobia, a playlist: •skinny love- bon iver •be my mistake- the 1975 •heart hope- oh wonder •flux- ellie goulding •comfort- petal •all we do- oh wonder •familiar- agnes obel •unbearably white- vampire weekend •devil like me- akine

I gravitate to water. I’ve always felt particularly at home where my hair and body are sticky with salt air. There’s something about the fluctuating tides and the volatile placidity of the surface that reminds me life too will come in waves. • • • • • • • • • • • • • #beach #beachdays #depression #anxiety #life #bestfriend #water #waves #tides #moons #witchythings #witchyvibes #witch #nonairbrushedme

A list of things to remember in life: •no one can dictate your worth. •bright and unusual lipstick gets you stared at, but it’s worth it •sometimes you stumble onto friendships in unexpected ways •shame makes you feel like a thousand pound weight rests on your shoulders •friendships end and it is okay to mourn them, but move on if it’s what’s best for you •plants > people. Always. •bunny snuggles are the best snuggles (see photo 2... look at that little nose!) •manual cars are better. You cannot change my mind. •people will treat you badly if you allow them to; don’t allow them to. •your gut always knows. Your mind will trick you. Listen to your energies and feelings. •life will move on, even if you aren’t ready; just hold on tight. •it’s okay to say no •no matter what, it will get better 🖤

Currently:

Reading… a few different things

Listening to… any of my saved songs

Watching… “You” and it is horrifying.

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The Author

Lexi Ann

I love animals and anything art. The outdoors is my favorite place to be. I think old things are pretty neat and coffee is bae. I'm a photographer, vegetarian, aspiring environmental advocate, cruelty free product supporter, and obsessed bunny mom. You can usually find me procrastinating in coffee shops.

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nerves
a confession:
cyclicality
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